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Doctor Jokes
Doctor Jokes and Medical Humor

 

Mr. Smith was in his hospital bed and had been getting many tests done. After several days of hospitalization, a nurse finally came into his room and stated, "Mr. Smith, I have some bad news and some good news. Which do you want to hear first?"

Mr. Smith solemnly replied, "Well, tell me the bad news first."

The nurse said, "The bad news is that your HMO refuses to pay for you to have an enema. But, the good news is that your doctor will be in shortly to slap the sh** out of you."


While doing a vasectomy, the doctor slipped and cut off one of the man's balls. To avoid a huge malpractice suit, he decided to replace the missing testicle with an onion.

Several weeks later, the patient returned for a checkup. "How's your sex life?" the doctor asked.

"Pretty good," the man said, to the doctor's relief. But then he added, "I've had some strange side effects."

"What's that?" the doctor asked anxiously.

"Well, every time I pee, my eyes water. When my wife gives me a blow job, she gets heartburn. And, every time I pass a hamburger stand, I get turned on."


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