Engineer Jokes

Top Engineering Terms and Expressions - Part I
(What engineers say versus what they mean)

1. A number of different approaches are being tried.
(We are still guessing at this point.)

2. Close project coordination. (We sat down and had coffee together.)

3. An extensive report is being prepared on a fresh approach.
(We just hired three punk kids out of school.)

4. Major technological breakthrough! (It works OK, but looks very hi-tech!)

5. Customer satisfaction is believed assured.
(We are so far behind schedule, that the customer will take anything.)

6. Preliminary operational tests were inconclusive.
(The darn thing blew up when we threw the switch.)

7. Test results were extremely gratifying! (Unbelievable, it actually worked!)

8. The entire concept will have to be abandoned.
(The only guy who understood the thing quit.)

9. It is in process.
(It is so wrapped in red tape that the situation is completely hopeless.)

10. We will look into it. (Forget it! We have enough problems already.)

11. Please note and initial. (Let's spread the responsibility for this.)

12. Give us the benefit of your thinking.
(We'll listen to what you have to say as long as it doesn't interfere with
what we have already done or with what we are going to do.)

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