Q: What is the best way to save a marriage?
A: Go out and price a few divorce lawyers.

Q: How can you tell if a lawyer is well hung?
A: He stopped breathing.

Q: What does a criminal lawyer have in common with Pee Wee Herman?
A: They can both get themselves off.

Q: Did you hear about the dyslexic lawyer who studied all year for the bra exam?

Q: What do you get for a friend who is graduating from Law School?
A: A Lobotomy.

Q: How many lawyers does it take to plaster a wall?
A: Depends on how hard you throw them.

Q: How many lawyers does it take to roof a house?
A: Depends on how thin you slice them.

Q: Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?
A: From chasing parked ambulances.

Q. An ethical lawyer, an honest politician, and a merciful aerobics instructor all fall out of an airplane. Which one hits the ground first?
A. None of them... since none of them exist.