Q: What is the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?
A: There are skid marks in front of the skunk.

Q: What do you do if you run over a lawyer?
A1: Back over him to make sure.
A2: Make another notch on the steering wheel.

Q: What do lawyers and bullfrogs have in common?
A: Both have a big head that consists mostly of mouth.

Q: Why don't lawyers lie on the beach?
A: Cats would bury them.

Q: What is the difference between a lawyer and a tick?
A: A tick drops off you when you die.

Q: What do you get when you cross a lawyer and a pig?
A: Nothing. There's some things even a pig won't do!

Q. What is the difference between a vampire and a lawyer?
A. One is a soul-less, bloodsucking monster, and the other can turn into a bat.