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Lumberjack Jokes

The foreman at the lumberyard needed a replacement for an employee who just quit. And while he wasn't eager to hire the blind man (because of the obvious risks involved), the blind man begged for the chance. "You'll see," he said. "Just put me in front of a pile of lumber. I sniff the lumber and know what type it is - I will stack it accordingly."

So the foreman agreed to give it a shot. Positioning the blind man in front of a stack of wood, he asked what type it was. "Ahhhhhhhhhh..." said the blind man, taking a deep breath. "Pine, twelve-foot," and stacked it in place. The foreman was surprised, and repeated the test with oak and redwood, fir and mahogany, but the blind man didn't miss once.

Then, getting a sly look on his face, the foreman called up to the office secretary. "There's a blind man applying for a job and I don't want to hire him. He says he can tell what kind of wood we have just by sniffing it. I want to confuse him - Come back here, take off all your clothes, and lay on top of that pile of wood." The secretary stripped naked and draped herself across the wood.

Sniffing furiously, the blind man then looked puzzled. "Gee, I don't believe I've ever smelled wood like that before. Let me take another sniff." He went closer and sniffed the wood again. "DAMN, I have no idea what that is. Can you turn it over?"

The secretary turned over. The blind man went near the pile of wood and took another deep sniff. "Well?" the foreman asked. "What kind of wood is THAT?" "Hmmm..." said the blind man, "I'm not sure, but near as I can tell, it's the sh** house door off a tuna boat."