Doctor Jokes and Medical Humor

To help in your recovery, here are a few medical terms you should know:

Barium - What you do when the patient dies

Urine - The opposite of "You're out!"

Cauterize - Made eye contact with her

Ova - Finished; done with

Sperm - To reject, look away from Dilate - To live a long time

Enema - Opposite of a friend

Node - Was aware of

White Count - The number of caucasians

Hernia - Pertaining to a female's knee

Fibrillate - To tell a small lie

D&C - Where Washington is

Bunion - Paul's surname Rectum - Dang near killed him

Paradox - Two doctors

Coronary - Domesticated Yellow Bird

Constipation - Endangered feces

Penis - Someone who plays the piano

Humerus - To tell us what we want to hear

Intestine - Currently taking an exam

Outpatient - A person who has fainted

Genital - Non-Jew

Sacrum - Holy

Pap Smear - To slander your father

Pelvis - The evil twin of Elvis

Seizure - Roman Emperor

Cat Scan - When the Secret Service looks for Socks

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