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Farmer Jokes
Farmer Jokes

 

A ventriloquist was driving through the Midwest when his car broke down. He walked a ways and found a farmer who would let him use his phone. Well, the farmer seemed to be a real stereotypical rural type, so the ventriloquist thought it would be possible to have some fun with him. The farmer began to lead him back to the house.

Along the way, they passed a horse. The ventriloquist said to the farmer, "Is this your horse?" The farmer replied, "Yep."

The ventriloquist asked, "Can he talk?" The farmer said, "Nope."

The ventriloquist then said to the horse, "So, how do you like it here?" He then threw his voice, and said in a horse-like voice, "Oh, it's pretty good. Every morning the farmer feeds me oats." Upon hearing this, the farmer was startled and quickened his pace.

Soon they came to a cow. The ventriloquist asked, "Is this your cow?" and the farmer replied, "Yep." He then asked, "Does it talk?" and the farmer replied, "I don't think so."

The ventriloquist asked the cow, "How do you like it here?" and threw his voice again. In a cow-like voice, he said, "Oh, I like it just fine. Every morning the farmer comes and milks me."

Upon hearing this, the farmer squirmed. He looked down at the ground and continued walking. Soon they came to some sheep.

The ventriloquist asked, "Are these your sheep?" and the farmer replied, "Yep." He then asked, "Do they talk?" and the farmer exclaimed, "Yes, but they lie!"


Two blonde farmers bought a truckload of watermelons, paying one dollar apiece for them. Then they drove to the market and sold all their melons for the same price they'd paid for them.

After counting their money at the end of the day, they realized they ended up with no more money than they'd started with. "See!" said one of the blonde farmers. "I told you we shoulda got a bigger truck."


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