Occupational Hazards   Laugh along with zany accountants, crazy shrinks, sick doctors, clever bartenders, dumb waiters, and ingenious engineers. Check out job hunting jokes, corporate wisdom, office humor, and coffee jokes. Have a revenge chuckle about lawyers, dentists, IRS, police, judges, or that #%$@%! boss. Enjoy!  
 

Occupation Menu

Home
Accountant
Banker
Barber
Bartender
Clerk/Cashier
Cowboy
Dentist
Doctor
Education
Engineer
Farmer
Judge
Lawyer
Military
Office
Pilot
Police
Salesman
Scientist
Secretary
Shrink
Stewardess
Stock Broker
Taxi/Limo Driver
Truck Driver

 

 

 


#%$%! Boss Jokes
That #%$%! Boss Jokes

 

When the body was first made, all the parts wanted to be the boss. The brain said, "because I control everything and do all the thinking, I should be the boss."

The feet said, "because I carry man where he wants to go and get him in position to do what the brain wants, then I should be the boss."

The hands said, "because I must do all the work and earn all the money to keep the rest of you going, I should be the boss." And so it went with the eyes, the heart, the lungs, the kidneys and all the other parts of the body, each giving the reason why they should be the boss.

Finally, the arsehole spoke up and said it was going to be the boss. All the other parts laughed and laughed at the idea of the arsehole being the boss. The arsehole got so angry that he blocked himself off and refused to function any more.

Soon the brain was feverish and could barely think, the feet felt like lead weights and were almost too weak to drag the body anywhere, the eyes grew bleary, and the hands hung useless at the sides. All pleaded with the brain to let the arsehole be declared the boss.

And so it happened; all the other parts did all the work and the arsehole just bossed and passed out a lot of crap.

The Moral: No matter how well things are going, it can all be shut down by a single arsehole.


"Is your advertising getting results?" asked one business owner.

"It sure is," moaned the second owner. "Last week we advertised for a night watchman ... and the next night we were robbed."


A well-stacked young advertising secretary wore tight knit dresses that showed off her figure, especially when she walked. Her young, aggressive boss motioned her into his office one afternoon and closed the door. Pointing to her tightly covered derriere, he asked, "Is that for sale?"

"Of course not!" she snapped angrily, blushing furiously.

Unchanged, he replied quietly, "Then, I suggest you quit advertising it."


Next Job Joke

Click for the Next Boss Joke.
Or, Choose a Joke Category from the Menu.

Jump to Boss Joke Number:
| 5 | 10 | 15 | 20 | New Boss Jokes |

Back to the top of this page

 

 

 

 
More OccupationsRandom JokesCategory MenuSubmit a JokeSearch Archive

 

 

Guaranteed to
Relieve Job Stress:

Go Shopping!
| Find Unique Stuff |
|
Get Really Nice Stuff |

 

 

| Home | Job Hunting Humor | On the Job Jokes | #%$@ Boss | Corporate Wisdom | Coffee Jokes |
| Accountant Jokes | Banker | Barber Jokes | Bartender | Clerk/Cashier | Cowboy Jokes | Dentist |
| Doctor Jokes | Education Humor | Engineer Jokes | Farmer | Judge Jokes | Lawyer Jokes | Military |
| Office Humor | Pilot | Police Jokes | Salesman | Scientist Jokes | Secretary | Shrink Jokes | Stewardess |
| Stock Broker | Taxi & Limo Driver | Truck Driver | 100 More Occupations | More Jobs-2 | A to Z Jobs |