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Farmer Jokes


There was once a farmer who had a wife and three sons. They had one special cow that supported them all. It was a special cow; it gave the best milk in the world. The cow was their only source of income.

One day, the farmer woke up and went out to the field to milk the cow. When he got there, he found the cow lying dead in the pasture, so he took a pitchfork and he killed himself with it. Then his wife woke up and found her husband and the cow dead in the field, so she took the same pitchfork, and she killed herself with it.

Then the oldest son woke up (22 years old), and found everyone dead. So he went down to the bridge and he was about to jump off when a mermaid appeared. The mermaid asked him what was wrong, so he told her about the cow and his parents.

She said that she could bring them all back to life under one condition: If he had sex with her 30 times. It sounded like a lot, but he agreed to it anyway. After about 15 times, he just passed out from exhaustion. The mermaid got really mad, and strangled him to death, and he washed up on the shore of the farm.

Then the middle son woke up (18 years old, a little more spry and athletic) and found everyone dead. He went down to the bridge, and found the mermaid. They made the same deal. After 25 times, he passed out and she strangled him.

Then the youngest son woke up (14 and in his prime state of horniness). He, too, found everyone dead, and went down to the bridge to kill himself and met the mermaid. She, once again, asked him to have sex with her 30 times in return for his familys and cow's lives.

The youngest son asked, "Why not 40? No, 50!"

The mermaid exclaimed, "How about 60? Or, 70!"

He said, "80! 90! 100!" She said, "110! 120!"

Then he said, "Wait a second . . . What if you die, just like the cow did?"

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