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More Occupations

Lumberjack Jokes

Mitch is working at the lumberyard, pushing a tree through the buzz saw, and accidentally shears off all ten of his fingers. He manages to drive himself the nearest hospital's emergency room.

The doctor says, "Oh my gosh, reattachment surgery on so many lost digits has never been attempted before! But don't worry, I'm the best surgeon in the hospital, give me the fingers, and I'll see what I can do."

Mitchell says, "I haven't got the fingers."

The doctor says, "What do you mean, you havenÕt got the fingers? It's 2000. We've got microsurgery and all kinds of incredible techniques. I could have put them back on and made you like new. Why didn't you bring the fingers?"

Mitch says, "Well, Doc, I couldn't exactly pick the things up!"