|Laugh along with madcap scientists, crazy shrinks, sick doctors, clever bartenders, dumb waiters, and ingenious engineers. Check out job hunting jokes, corporate wisdom, office humor, and coffee jokes. Have a revenge chuckle about lawyers, dentists, IRS, police, judges, or that #%$@%! boss. Enjoy!|
Occupational Hazards - Job Jokes
Things You Wish You Could Say At Work
1. Ahhh, I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again.
2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
3. How about never? Is never good for you?
4. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
5. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me.
6. I'll try being nicer, if you'll try being smarter.
7. I don't work here, I'm a consultant.
8. It sounds like English, but I can't understand a word you're saying.
9. I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.
10. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
11. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
12. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
13. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.
14. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean that you're an artist.
15. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.
16. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.
Golden Rules for a Successful Working Life
Never Walk Without a Document in Your Hands.
Use Computers to Look Busy.
Looking Impatient and Annoyed
Leave the Office Late
Creative Sighing for Effect
Sure Signs You're Burned Out Due to Work
10. You're so tired you now answer the phone, "Hell."
9. Your friends call to ask how you've been, and you immediately scream, "Get off my back, jerk!"
8. Your garbage can IS your "in" box.
7. You wake up to discover your bed is on fire, but go back to sleep because you just don't care.
6. You have so much on your mind, you've forgotten how to pee.
5. Visions of the upcoming weekend help you make it through Monday.
4. You sleep more at work than at home.
3. You leave for a party and instinctively take your ID badge.
2. Your Day Timer exploded a week ago.
1. You think about how relaxing it would be if you were in jail right now.
Personal Daily Workout
Physical exercise is good for you. I know that I should do it daily, but my body doesn't want me to do to much, so I have worked out this program of strenuous activities that do not require physical exercise. You are invited to use my program without charge.
1) Beating around the bush
Whew! What a workout! I think I'll exercise my caution now, and sit down.
Hazard of the Week Joke Archive Last Updated
Job Hunting Humor | On
the Job Jokes | #%$@ Boss
| Corporate Wisdom | Coffee