Bartender and Cocktail Waitress Jokes

Three vampires went into a bar and sat down. The barmaid came over to take their orders. "And what would you, err, gentlemen like tonight?"

The first vampire said, "I'll have a mug of blood." The second vampire said, "I'll have a mug of blood." The third vampire shook his head at his companions and said, "I will have a glass of plasma."

The barmaid wrote down each order, went to the bar and called to the bartender, "Two bloods and a blood light."

A guy walks into a bar and sees a sign that says, "Cheese Sandwich, a dollar-fifty. Chicken sandwich, two-fifty. Hand job, ten bucks."

He says to the cute blonde barmaid, "Are you the one who gives the hand jobs?" She says, "Yes, I am."

He says, "Then go wash your hands and make me a cheese sandwich."

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