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Shrink Jokes
Shrink, Psychologist, Psychiatrist and Counselor Jokes


One morning the reknowned psychiatrist was holding a group consultation with three young mothers and their small children. "All three of you have obsessions," he proceeded to tell them.

To the first mother, the shrink said, "Your obsession is eating. Why you've even named your daughter Candy."

The second woman, the shrink claimed, was obsessed by money. "Again, it manifests itself in your child's name, Penny."

At this point, the third mother arose and, taking her little boy by the hand, whispered, "Let's go, Peter."

He was a dysfunctional male patient and the sex therapist was advising him on the release that could be obtained through masturbation. "Oh but I do get pleasure from my organ," he replied. "I frequently grasp my penis and hold it tight. It's a habit with me."

"Well, it's a habit you'll have to shake," said the therapist...

The call girl confided to her friend, "I'm afraid I'm going to have to give up analysis."

"But why? Isn't Dr. Greene helping you?"

"Yes, a lot," the call girl agreed. "Problem is, I just can't get used to lying down for a guy and then having then having to pay HIM."

A woman went to her psychiatrist because she was having severe problems with her sex life. The psychiatrist asked her many questions but did not seem to be getting a clear picture of her problems. Finally he asked, "Do you ever watch your husband's face while you are having sex?"

"Well, yes, I did once."

"Well, how did he look?"

"Very angry..."

At this point the psychiatrist felt he was really getting somewhere and he said, "Well, that's very interesting, we must look into this further. Now tell me, you say that you have only seen your husband's face once during sex; that seems somewhat unusual; how did it occur that you saw his face that time?"

"He was looking through the window at me."

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