Occupational Hazards - Office Humor, Exec and Businessman Jokes

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Office Humor, Exec and Businessman Jokes

Top Ten Things That
Sound Dirty at the Office But Aren't

10. I need to whip it out by 5.
9. Mind if I use your laptop?
8. Just stick it in my box.
7. If I have to lick one more, I'll gag!
6. I want it on my desk, NOW!!!
5. HMMMMMMMM ... I think it's out of fluid!
4. My equipment is so old, it takes forever to finish.
3. It's an entry-level position.
2. When do you think you'll be getting off today?

And the number 1 thing that sounds dirty in the office but isn't:
1. It's not fair ... I do all the work while he just sits there!

The company where my brother worked had a phone system that rerouted after-hours calls. If any calls came in on a certain line while he was working late, Dave knew it would be a wrong number. It got to the point where, as soon as the phone rang, Dave would pick up and say, "Psychic Hotline. I'm sorry, but you've dialed the wrong number."

The callers would often reply with something like, "But I didn't even ask to speak to anyone yet. How did you know I dialed the wrong ... "Oh!" (Click)

Joe and Frank were in the office, and noticed that someone had put up a suggestion box with some 3x5 cards next to it. Both decided that this was a great idea, and each took a card to fill out.

Joe wrote: "The office workers should all be given raises!"

When he looked at Frank's card, it said: "Can we all have raises, and keys to the executive washroom, and personal secretaries, and new company cars, and new coffee cups, and longer lunch breaks, and an extra three weeks vacation each year, and a holiday on St. Patrick's Day, and Columbus Day and Martin Luther Kings Birthday?"

Joe said, "Frank, that isn't the right way of getting things changed around here. You shouldn't put all of your begs in one ask-it."

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