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A man had to go to a strange town to be the guest speaker at a business meeting. When he arrived at the motel in town, he found that he had a lot of time before the meeting. He asked the clerk where the nearest golf course was and was given directions on how to get there. While playing on the front nine, he was going over the speech in his mind and became confused as to where he was on the course. Looking around, he saw a lady playing ahead of him. He walked up to her and told her about his big meeting and the speech he was to make and his confusion about where he was on the course, asked her if she knew what hole he was playing. She replied, "I'm on the 7th hole and you are a hole behind me, so you must be on the 6th hole." He thanked her and went back to his golf. On the back nine the same thing happened. He approached her again with the same request. She said, "I'm on the 14th, you are a hole behind me, So you must be on the 13th." Once again he thanked her and returned to his play. He finished his round and went into the clubhouse where he saw the lady sitting at the end of the bar. He asked the bartender if he knew the lady. The bartender said that she was a sales lady and played the course often. The man approached her and said, "Let me buy you a drink to show my appreciation for your help. I understand that you are a sales lady, well I am in sales also. What do you sell?" She replied, "If I told you, you would only laugh." "No I wouldn't," he said and persisted that she tell him what she sold. "Well if you must know," she answered, "I sell Tampax." With that, he fell on the floor and laughed so hard he almost lost his breath. She said, "see I knew you would laugh." "That's not what I'm laughing at," he replied. "I'm a toilet paper salesman, so I'm still a hole behind you!" The applicant for life insurance was finding it difficult to fill out the application. The salesman asked what the trouble was, and the man said that he couldn't answer the question about the cause of death of his father. The salesman wanted to know why. After some embarrassment the client explained that his father had been hanged. The salesman pondered for a moment. "Just write: 'Father was taking part in a public function when the platform gave way.'"
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