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Stock Broker Jokes
Stock Broker Jokes


A stockbroker was cold calling about a penny stock and found a taker. "I think this one will really move said the broker. It is currently only $1 a share."

"Buy me 1000 shares," said the client. The next day the stock was at $2. The client called the broker and said, "You were right, give me 5000 more shares."

The next day the client looked in the paper and the stock was at $4. The client ran to the phone and called the broker, "Get me 10,000 more shares," said the client.

"Great!" said the broker. The next day the client looked in the paper and the stock was at $9.

Seeing what a great profit he had in just a few days, the client ran to the phone and told the broker, "Sell all my shares!" The broker said, "To who? You were the only one buying that stock."

Two stockbrokers went to lunch. One said to the other, "Let's relax while we eat and talk about something other than the market for once."

"Good idea. Let's talk about women."

"Okay... Common or preferred?"

A new employee at the stock brokerage saw a knock-out chick slink past. "Whew !" he said. "Exactly what does she do."

"Not very much." replied his mentor. "She's one of our gilt-edged negotiable blondes."

The crooked stock broker was on trial for cheating thousands of people out of their savings with an elaborate stock fraud scheme. The District Attorney asked him how many people he had cheated, and the defendant replied, "None."

Surprised at the answer, the DA said, "Do you know the penalty for perjury sir?"

"As a matter of fact, yes I do. And it's far more amicable than the ones I'm currently facing," said the broker smiling.

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