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One evening a man was eating at a diner, when a well-dressed man sitting next to him said, "Excuse me for intruding, but I could not help noticing your accent. Are you from Krakow?"

"Yes, I am," replied the surprised man.

"It is so nice to meet a land kinsman here in America," said the well-dressed man. "I tell you what. I am a vice-president at Smedley & Sons. If you ever need a job, give me a call and I will be happy to set you up."

Six months go by, and the man loses his job, and decides to call his new friend. He had completely forgotten the man's name at this point, so he decided to take a shot in the dark. The receptionist answered, and he asked, "Pardon me, do you have a Krakauer there?"

"Sir," the receptionist replied, "we don't even get a coffee break!"

Put decaf in the coffee maker for three weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.

One Friday evening, a drunken young man walked up to a beautiful young woman at Star Bucks and said, "Do you mind if I ask you a personal question?"

"Yes I do," replied the beautiful young woman, "But go ahead, as I'm sure you're going to ask me anyway."

"OK," said the drunken college student as he sipped his black coffee, "How many men have you slept with?"

"That's my business!" snapped the woman.

"Oh, right!" said the young man. "I didn't realize you made a living at it!"

A diner was agitated that the waiter had brought him no spoon with his coffee. "This coffee," he said loud enough for most of the other patrons to hear, "is going to be pretty hot to stir with my fingers."

The waiter reddened, made a hasty retreat to the kitchen and returned shortly with another cup of coffee. "This one isn't so hot, sir," he beamed.

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