Coffee / Java Jokes

You Know You Drink Too Much Coffee When... Part II

Cocaine is a downer.

All your kids are named "Joe."

You don't need a hammer to pound in nails.

Your only source of nutrition comes from "Sweet & Low."

You don't sweat, you percolate.

You buy milk by the barrel.

You've worn out the handle on your favorite mug.

You go to AA meetings just for the free coffee.

You walk twenty miles on your treadmill before you realize it's not plugged in.

You forget to unwrap candy bars before eating them.

You've built a miniature city out of little plastic stirrers.

People get dizzy just watching you.

When you find a penny, you say, "Find a penny, pick it up. Sixty-three more, I'll have a cup."

You've worn the finish off your coffee table.

The Taster's Choice couple wants to adopt you.

Starbucks owns the mortgage on your house.

Your taste buds are so numb you could drink your lava lamp.

You're so wired, you pick up FM radio.

People can test their batteries in your ears.

Your life's goal IS to "amount to a hill of beans."

Instant coffee takes too long.

You channel surf faster without a remote.

When someone says. "How are you?" you say, "Good to the last drop."

You want to be cremated just so you can spend the rest of eternity in a coffee can.

You want to come back as a coffee mug in your next life.

Your birthday is a national holiday in Brazil.

You'd be willing to spend time in a Turkish prison.

Jump to Java Joke Number:
| 5 | 10 | 15 | New Coffee / Java Jokes |