Doctor Jokes and Medical Humor

A fellow went to the doctor, who told him that he had a bad illness and only a year to live. So the fellow decided to talk to his pastor. After the man explained his situation, he asked his Pastor if there was anything he could do.

"What you should do is go out and buy a late 70's or early 80's model Dodge Pickup," said the Pastor. "Then go get married to the ugliest woman you can find, and buy yourselves an old trailer house in the panhandle of Oklahoma."

The fellow asked, "Will this help me live longer?" "No," said the pastor, "but it will make what time you do have seem like forever."

Doctor: I have some bad news and some very bad news.

Patient: Well, might as well give me the bad news first.

Doctor: The lab called with your test results. They said you have 24 hours to live.

Patient: 24 HOURS! That's terrible! WHAT could be WORSE? What's the very bad news?

Doctor: I've been trying to reach you since yesterday.

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