Doctor Jokes and Medical Humor

"When I was born, the doctor came out to the waiting room and said to my father... I'm very sorry. We did everything we could... but he pulled through."

"I met the surgeon general. He offered me a cigarette!"

"I remember when I swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest."

My psychiatrist told me that I'm going crazy.

I told him, "If you don't mind, I'd like a second opinion.

He said, "Alright - you're ugly too!"

"Doctor, Doctor, You've got to help me! I just can't stop my hands shaking!"

"Do you drink a lot?" asked the doctor.

"Not really. I spill most of it!"

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