Doctor Jokes and Medical Humor

A neighbor of mine was bit by a stray rabid dog. I went to see how he was and found him writing furiously. I told him rabies could be cured and he didn't have to worry about a will.

He said, "Will, what will ? I'm making a list of people I'm gonna bite."

"Doctor, that rectal exam hurt like hell. What did you do?"

"I used two fingers," replied the doctor.

"What for?" the patient asked.

"I needed a second opinion," replied the doctor.

A guy goes to his doctor and says that he has a problem with sex. "I think my d*ck is too small," he says.

The doctor asks him which drink he prefers. "Well, Lager," he replies quite bemused. "Aaaahhh. There's your problem, It shrinks things - those Lagers. You should try drinking Guinness. That makes things grow."

Two months later, the chap returns to the doctor with a big smile on his face. He shakes the doctor by the hand and thanks him. "I take it you now drink Guinness?" asked the doctor.

"No," replies the man, "but now I've got the wife on Lager!"

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