Q: What is the difference between a good lawyer and a great Lawyer
A: A good lawyer knows the law, and a great lawyer knows the judge.

Q: What do you call a lawyer with an I. Q. of 50?
A: Your honor.

Q: What do you call a lawyer who has gone bad?
A: Senator.

Q: How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: How many can you afford?

Q: How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.

Q: What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?
A: An offer you can't understand.

Q: What is the difference between God and a lawyer?
A: God doesn't think He is a lawyer.