Q: What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?
A: Stick his bill up his ass.

Q: What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?
A: One is a blood-sucking parasite. The other is an insect.

Q: What is the difference between a lawyer and a vulture? A: The vulture has the courtesy to wait until you are dead.

Q: Why won't sharks attack lawyers?
A: Professional courtesy.

Q: What is brown and black and looks good on a lawyer? A: A Doberman.

Q: What is the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?
A: The lawyer charges more.

Q: What is the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?
A: A vampire only sucks blood at night.

Q: What is the difference between a catfish and a lawyer?
A: One's a slimy scum-sucking scavenger, the other is just a fish.

Q: What is the difference between lawyers and vultures?
A: Vultures can't take their wing tips off.