"Nasty looking crew you got to handle out there this morning, judge," said the baliff. "Where did the cops find all those crooks?"

His Honor replied, "Harrison, the crooks won't be here for another fifteen minutes. Those are the lawyers."

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Lawyers and computers have both been proliferating since 1970. Unfortunately, lawyers, unlike computers, have not gotten twice as smart and half as expensive every 18 months.

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I phoned one of those "let's sue everyone partnerships" that advertise on Televison. I told them I wanted to sue them! I hurt myself going for the remote to turn them off.

Their response was: "Which member of the firm was doing the commercial?"