"I have good news and bad news," the defense attorney calmly told his client. "First the bad news. The blood test came back, and your DNA is an exact match with that found at the crime scene."

"Oh, no!" cried the client. "What's the good news?"

The lawyer replied, "Your cholesterol is only 140."

---

A man was on trial for selling drugs, and a neighbor was called as a witness at the trial. The defense attorney asked the neighbor, "Did you ever get any cocaine or other drugs from the defendant?"

"No sir," answered the witness.

"Did you ever get any from his wife?" asked the lawyer.

"No sir." replied the witness.

"Did you ever get any from his daughters?"asked the attorney.

"Uh - excuse me sir," the witness said, "but we are still talking about drugs here, right?"