On the Job Jokes - Miseellaneous Job Humor

Things You Wish You Could Say At Work When The Going Gets Tough

1. Your ridiculous little opinion has been noted.

2. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public. 3. Someday, we'll look back on this, laugh nervously and change the subject.

4. Ahhh... I see the f***-up fairy has visited us again.

5. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.

6. I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.

7. What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?

8. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.

9. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.

10. It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.

11. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.

12. No, my powers can only be used for good.

13. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me.

14. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.

15. I don't work here. I'm a consultant. 16. Who me? I just wander from room to room.

17. It might look like I'm doing nothing, but at the cellular level I'm really quite busy.

18. At least I have a positive attitude about my destructive habits.

19. How about never? Is never good for you?

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