You Know You Need a New Lawyer When

1. During your initial consultation he tries to sell you Amway.

2. He tells you that his last good case was a "Budweiser."

3. When the prosecutors see who your lawyer is, they high-five each other.

4. He asks a hostile witness to "pull my finger."

5. He places a large "No Refunds" sign on the defense table.

6. He begins closing arguments with, "As Ally McBeal once said..."

7. He keeps citing the legal case of Godzilla vs. Mothra.

8. Just before trial starts he whispers, "The judge is the one with the little hammer, right?"

9. Just before he says, "Your Honor," he makes those little quotation marks in the air with his fingers.

10. Whenever his objection is overruled, he tells the judge, "Whatever."