After years of hard work, Clem took his first vacation on a luxury cruise ship. In a deck chair, he recognized a former high school classmate, a long-lost friend from his old hometown.

He crossed the deck, seized the fellow's hand and said, "Hello, Biff. I haven't seen you in years. What are you doing these days?"

"I'm practicing law," whispered Biff. "But don't tell mother. She thinks I'm still a pimp."

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Q: You're in a cage with a really big, mean bear and a lawyer. You have a gun, but you only two bullets. What do you do?

A: You shoot the lawyer twice, because the bear is the least of your problems.