Military Jokes

During World War II, an American warship was under attack by the Japanese. A torpedo was headed toward the ship and a strike seemed inevitable. The captain told the first officer to go down to the crew quarters and tell a joke, so at least the men would die laughing.

Gathering the men around him, the first officer said, "What would you think if I could split the whole ship in two by hitting my d**k against the table?" When the crew burst out laughing the officer pulled out his penis and whacked it on the table.

Just then, a huge explosion tore the ship apart. The only survivors were the captain and the first officer. As they floated around in a lifeboat the captain remarked, "You sure got the crew laughing. What did you do?"

The first officer told him. "Well, you'd better be careful with that d**k of yours," the captain said. "The torpedo missed!"

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