On the Job Jokes - Miseellaneous Job Humor

The Job Security Quiz - Part I

1. The boss appears at your cubicle and finds you playing DOOM at your desk, you...

A) Swear to take the game off your hard drive forever, but first make a copy for his kid.
B) Inform him that you're planting a virus in the program so that everyone who plays it on company time will get reported to Human Resources.
C) Tell him that whatever he wants will have to wait until you've finished the level.

2. There's a cush job opening in the mail department, stuffing envelopes with free samples. It pays twice as much as your current position. What do you do?

A) Meekly suggest to your boss that transferring you might improve the morale of everyone who's been working with you.
B) Politely ask your boss for a transfer and offer to split the salary increase 50/50 with him.
C) Barge into your bosses office and demand reassignment so that you, "Won't have to work under someone who should have retired before he became a laughingstock."

3. When your boss throws a party and invites everyone in the office except you, what do you do?

A) Stay home and watch 'I Love Lucy' reruns.
B) Show up at the party anyway, with a really expensive bottle of wine and a briefcase full of small, unmarked bills.
C) Go over to your bosses house after everyone has left and throw rocks at the windows, shouting obscenities.

4. Your boss criticizes your work unjustly; what do you do?

A) Listen politely, and then apologize.
B) Blame someone else.
C) Climb on top of your desk, and hold up a piece of paper on which you've written the word "union."

5. When the CEO parks his car in your spot, you...

A) Wash and wax it, then leave your business card under the windshield wiper.
B) Key it ... then tell the CEO's secretary you saw your boss near it, loitering suspiciously.
C) Key it ... then proudly tell the CEO's secretary that you did it.

Jump to On the Job Joke Joke Number:
| 10 | 20 | 30 | New On The Job Jokes |