On the Job Jokes - Miseellaneous Job Humor

Inventive Excuses for Missing Work - Part II

8. The psychiatrist said it was an excellent session. He even gave me this jaw restraint so I won't bite things when I am startled.

9. The dog ate my car keys. We're going to hitchhike to the vet.

10. I prefer to remain an enigma.

11. My stepmother has come back as one of the Undead and we must track her to her coffin to drive a stake through her heart and give her eternal peace. One day should do it.

12. I can't come to work today because the EPA has determined that my house is completely surrounded by wetlands and I have to arrange for helicopter transportation.

13. I am converting my calendar from Julian to Gregorian.

14. I am extremely sensitive to a rise in the interest rates.

15. I refuse to travel to my job until there is a commuter tax. I insist on paying my fair share.

16. I've used up all my sick days, so I'm calling in dead!

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