Scientist and Science Jokes

Murray's Laws

First Law - If anything can go wrong with the experiment, it will.

Second Law - No matter what result is anticipated, there is always someone who is willing to fake it.

Third Law - No matter what occurs, there is always someone who believes it happened according to his pet theory.

Creed - Science is true. Don't be misled by facts.

More Axioms

O'Leary's Theorems: If the experiment works you must be using the wrong equipment.

Scully's Constant: That quantity which, when added to, subtracted from, divided by, or multiplied into the answer you got, gives the correct answer.

Addam's Axiom: When all else fails, read the instructions.

Stockwell's Law: The probability of a given event occuring is inversely proportional to its desirability.

Compensation Corollary: An experiment may be considered successful if no more than half of the data must be discarded to obtain agreement with your theory.

Hamilton's Consolation: No experiment is a complete failure; it can always be used as a bad example.

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