Stock Broker Jokes

Humble Pie
(To the tune of Madonna's "American Pie")

A long, long week ago
I can still remember how
the market used to make me smile.

What I'd do when I had the chance
Is get myself a cash advance
And add another tech stock to the pile.

But Alan Greenspan made me shiver
With every speech that he delivered.
Bad news on the rate front
Still I'd take one more punt.

I can't remember if I cried
When I heard about the CPI.
I lost my fortune and my pride
The day The NASDAQ died.

So bye-bye to my piece of the pie.
Now I'm gettin' calls for margin
'Cause my cash account's dry.

It's just two weeks from a new all-time high
And now we're right back where we were in July.
We're right back where we were in July.

Did you buy stocks you never heard of?
QCOM at 150 or above?
'Cos George Gilder told you so.

Now do you believe in Home Depot?
Can Wal-Mart save your portfolio?
And can you teach me what's a P/E ratio?

Well, I know that you were leveraged too
So you can't just take a long-term view.
Your broker shut you down
No more margin could be found.

I never worried on the whole way up
Buying dot coms from the back of a pickup truck
But Friday I ran out of luck.

It was the day the NAAAASDAQ died.
I started singin' Bye-bye to my piece of the pie
Now I'm gettin' calls for margin
'Cause my cash account's dry.

It's just two weeks from a new all-time high.
And now we're right back where we were in July.
Yeah we're right back where we were in July.

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