Occupational Hazards - Job Jokes
Occupational Hazard of the Week Archive

March 2001

An employment interviewer for a big company in New York was talking to an attractive young woman applying for a job.

Looking over the application form, the interviewer noticed that the girl had not answered one important question concerning transportation to and from work. "What about your bus line?" the interviewer asked her.

"I don't believe I mentioned it," came the pleased reply, "but it's a 36C."

I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks...

Q: Why is a government worker like a shotgun with a broken firing pin?

A: It won't work and you can't fire it.

Baby Name Suggestions - Part I

Accountant's daughter: Ira
Athlete's son: Victor
Baker's daughter: Cookie
Barber's son: Harry
Beautician's son: Curly
Cattle thief's son: Russell
Day-trader's daughter: Hope
Doctor's son: Bill
Exercise guru's son: Jim
Espresso vendor's son: Joe
Fisherman's daughter: Annette
Florist's daughter: Rose
Gambler's daughter: Bette
Gambler's son: Chip
Gardener's son: Moe
Gastro-enterologist's daughter: Fanny
Geneticist's son: Gene
Hair stylist's son: Bob
Homeopathic doctor's son: Herb
Hot-dog vendor's son: Frank
Housewife's son: Dusty

Baby Name Suggestions - Part II

Iron worker's son: Rusty
IRS agent's daughter: Mony
Jeweler's daughter: Opal
Justice of the peace's daughter: Mary
Lawyer's daughter: Sue
Lawyer's son: Will
Lumberjack's son: Glenn
Manicurist's son: Hans
Meteorologist's daughter: Haley
Minister's daughter: Faith
Movie star's son: Oscar
Musician's daughter: Melody
Painter's son: Art
Plumber's son: John
Politician's daughter: Patsy
Sound stage technician's son: Mike
Steam shovel operator's son: Doug
Televangelist's daughter: Charity
Thief's son: Rob
Television star's daughter: Emmy
Undertaker's son: Barry

They were leading a priest, a drunkard and an engineer to the guillotine. They asked the priest if he wanted to face up or down when he meets his fate. The priest said that he would like to face up so that he will be looking toward heaven when he dies.

They raise the blade of the guillotine, release it, it comes speeding down and suddenly stops just inches from his throat. The authorities take this as divine intervention and release the priest.

Next the drunkard comes to the guillotine. He also decides to die face up hoping that he will be as fortunate as the priest. They raise the blade of the guillotine, release it, it comes speeding down and suddenly stops just inches from his throat. So they release the drunkard as well.

The engineer is next. He too, decides to die facing up. They slowly raise the blade of the guillotine, when suddenly the engineer says, "Hey, I think the problem is that the cable is binding right here..."

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Hazard of the Week Joke Archive Last Updated
August 31, 2001

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