Shrink, Psychologist, Psychiatrist and Counselor Jokes

A man rushed into the doctor's office and shouted, "Doctor! I think I'm shrinking!"

The doctor calmly responded, "Now, settle down. You'll just have to be a little patient."

A man walks into a psychiatrist's office. He has a cucumber up his nose, a carrot in his left ear and a banana in his right ear. "What's the matter with me?" he asked.

"You're not eating properly," replied the shrink.

Patient: "Doctor, you must help me. I'm under such a lot of stress. I keep losing my temper with people."

Doctor: "Tell me about your problem."

Patient: "I just did, you stupid bastard!"

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