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Auto Mechanic Jokes

A young female stock broker was bored of driving her BMW. It lacked individuality and besides that every bitch in the office had one. She fancied something a bit more individual, "Perhaps a MG convertible," she mused to herself.

That week she visited her local car dealer and spied a beautiful Jaguar XK140 convertible. It was wonderfully restored and she fell in love with it's gorgeous red paintwork.

An empty check stub later and off she was driving down the leafy country lanes enjoying her beautiful new car. Her long blonde hair was flowing in the wind, music blaring from the radio, what could go wrong? With that there was a jerking from the engine and the car slowly coasted to a stop.

She got out and lifted the hood and concluded, after a few minutes realized that she didn't have a clue. Luckily she had her mobile phone with her and a quick phone call to AAA and a short wait saw a bright shiny yellow van pull up behind her.

"That's a lovely car," says the AAA man. "What seems to be the matter?" "Well it just conked out I'm afraid." "Let me have look," he said. He set to work and ten minutes later the engine was purring like a cat again. "Oh goody!" she said, "What was the matter?"

"Simple really, just sh** in the carburetor," he replied. Looking shocked she asked, "Oh, Okay. How many times a week do I have to do that?"