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More Occupations

Mortician and Undertaker Jokes

This woman goes into a funeral home to make arrangements for her husband's funeral. She tells the undertaker that she wants her husband to be buried in a dark blue suit. He asks, "Wouldn't it just be easier to bury him in the black suit that he's wearing?"

"No," she insists as she hands him a check to buy one. "It must be blue."

When she comes back for the wake, she sees her husband in the coffin and he is wearing a beautiful blue suit. She tells the director how much she loves the suit and asks how much it cost.

He says, "Actually, it didn't cost anything. The funniest thing happened. As soon as you left, another corpse was brought in, this one wearing a blue suit. I noticed that they were about the same size, and asked the other widow if she would mind if her husband were buried in a black suit. She said that was fine with her... So I switched the heads."